Did Pepsi pull a rape joke? You decide.

Spoiler: Probably not.

What’s Trending: Pepsi’s Challenged Transcript

This is a transcript of the July 7th, 2026 RGBots comic.

Panel One

Green is looking at a reaction to a Pepsi post on Threads, which reads: “Pepsi Wild Cherry is what happens when regular cherry stops asking permission.”

Green: Wow, my first marketing pitch ended up being controversial. I may need to rethink my next pitch.

Panel Two

Green states his next pitch.

Green: “Pepsi Wild Cherry raw dogs your taste buds.” Maybe I can throw a “respectfully” in there.

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Today’s magic number is “two.”

What’s Trending: By the Number Transcript

This is a transcript of the April 29th, 2026, RGBots comic.

Panel One

Green is reading about the James Comey indictment – the second one.

Green: Oh wow, they indicted James Comey for posting the number 86-47 on his Instagram account? I wonder if they are planning on indicting me for my totally rad serial number?

Panel Two

Green recites his serial number.

Green: 86-47-69-420.

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Which drunk? Hegseth or Patel?

Oh, wait, this is a metaphor.

What’s Trending: Strait Dope Transcript

This is a transcript of the April 19th, 2026, RGBots comic.

Panel One

Red is commenting on recent news.

Red: The Strait of Hormuz situation is so embarrassing. It’s like watching a drunk person closing a broken door, starting to walk away, only for the door to pop back open, requiring them to try again. Repeat a half-dozen times.

Panel Two

Red continues to rant.

Red; Only now there are fucking missiles involved, and the door was broken by the drunk guy to begin with.

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Though, does this really act as a surprise at this point?

What’s Trending: Easter Surprise Transcript

This is a transcript of the April 5th, 2026, RGBots comic.

Panel One

The image depicts an Easter 2026 Truth Social post from Donald J. Trump.

Post text: Tuesday will be Power Plant Day, and Bridge Day, all wrapped up in one, in Iran. There will be nothing like it!!! Open the Fuckin’ Strait, you crazy bastards, or you’ll be living in Hell – JUST WATCH! Praise be to Allah. President DONALD J. TRUMP

Panel Two

Green, Red, and Blue look terrified. The panel is overlaid with a red distorted visualization indicating extreme stress.

Green: I’m so tired of living in interesting times.

You can ask the RGBots a question any time you’d like, and they may answer it in a comic! You can help support the comic with donations and subscriptions to the webhost.

He could also be a great resource for the smaller-faced among us.

Anyway, source, as some of you all have trust issues.

What’s Trending: Sticking One’s Neck Out Transcript

This is a transcript of the March 1st, 2026, RGBots comic.

Panel One

Green is checking his phone and gets an update about Charlie Kirk, straight from hell.

Green: Did you hear that the Department of Education added a Charlie Kirk banner display?

Panel Two

Blue weighs in.

Blue: To be fair, he is a good teacher if you are looking to learn how to get shot in the neck.

You can ask the RGBots a question any time you’d like and they may answer it in a comic! You can help support the comic with donations and subscriptions to the webhost.

Lord knows she’s gonna do her best to downplay the issue by posting a tweet that Professor Flitwick had a child bride and that normalized in the Wizarding World, just like wizards shitting themselves where they stood was canon.

What’s Trending: A Wizard Did It Transcript

This is a transcript of the February 3rd, 2026, RGBots comic.

Panel One

Green is checking his phone and learns something new.

Green: Turns out that J.K. Rowling is in the Epstein Files. Presto Molesto.

Panel Two

Green continues with magic puns.

Green: It is a real-life case of pederastidigitation. Expecto Molestrum.

You can ask the RGBots a question any time you’d like and they may answer it in a comic! You can help support the comic with donations and subscriptions to the webhost.

Like and subscribe, I guess. Source: https://www.sltrib.com/religion/2026/01/15/lds-news-youtubes-mrbeast-touts/

What’s Trending: Beast Mode Transcript

This is a transcript of the January 16th, 2026, RGBots comic.

Panel One

Blue is reading the news on a smartphone.

Blue: “Latest from Mormon Land: YouTube’s MrBeast partners with LDS Church; spate of new new stakes created. Also: Why apostle Dieter Uchtdorf is so popular; Dallin Oaks hopes for lower marriage ages; Temple Square mission to end.”

Panel Two

Blue continues to read the news… or does she? What even is reality anymore. No, this is not merely a simple transcript – this is me violating the boundary between relaying information as written and invoking something more fantastical. Transcription has driven me mad. You, reading this. Do you feel it?

Blue: “Future editions of The Beast Games to include an event involving nets, a priest, and a grade-school locker room.”

You can ask the RGBots a question any time you’d like and they may answer it in a comic! You can help support the comic with donations and subscriptions to the webhost.

It’s like if there was a sequel to Goodfellas where they get into the White House, but instead of a movie it is real, we’re living it, and there are bodies left in the wake of these poor decisions.

What’s Trending: War Pig Transcript

This is a transcript of the January 3rd, 2026, RGBots comic.

Panel One

Red is checking the news on Green’s smartphone.

Red: Let’s just see what is going on in world news today. Oh. Oh, fuck.

Panel Two

Green looks at the phone.

Green: We’re just snatching up sitting heads of state now?

Red: Sounds like we got a new Epstein files dump coming.

You can ask the RGBots a question any time you’d like and they may answer it in a comic! You can help support the comic with donations and subscriptions to the webhost.

I mean, Snoop Dogg will roll over for any bag of cash. Even if it’s fake money.

What’s Trending: Downward Dogg Transcript

This is a transcript of the January 19, 2025, RGBots comic.

Panel One

Red is indignant and disgusted.

Red: I can’t believe Snoop Dogg performed at a Crypto Ball for Trump’s meme coin. What a sellout!

Panel Two

Blue raises a valid point.

Blue: Anyone who has followed Snoop’s career knows one thing… If the check clears, anyone can get it Doggystyle.

You can ask the RGBots a question any time you’d like and they may answer it in a comic! You can help support the comic with donations and subscriptions to the webhost.

We’re a little worried given the content of our Thanksgiving comic, but we’re pretty sure we aren’t on a watchlist.

If we were, you’d also have to throw a few other million people on the list.

What’s Trending: The Revolution Will Not Be Covered by Insurance Transcript

This is a transcript of the December 5, 2024, RGBots comic.

Panel One

Green and Red stare into the distance, taking in a moment.

Red: Things are changing. A CEO dies and nobody cares. it became a big joke. This is wild.

Panel Two

Green weighs in.

Green: Oh, no, people care. They care to know if it is the first shot of a revolution.

You can ask the RGBots a question any time you’d like and they may answer it in a comic! You can help support the comic with donations and subscriptions to the webhost.

Yeah, we’re going to some weird places. Monday Night RAW also refers to the milk being served in school lunches. Thanks, RFK Jr.

What’s Trending: Educational Smackdown Transcript

This is a transcript of the November 20, 2024, RGBots comic.

Panel One

Blue is reading the news on her phone.

Blue: Linda McMahon for Secretary of Education? Truly a bold new direction in education.

Panel Two

Blue revels in the possibilities.

Blue: Teachers enter the classroom with theme songs. Faculty are encouraged to create heat between rival students to play out in the ring – no more standardized tests. HGH in the water fountains. Come to class late? Steel chair.

You can’t solve all your student loan issues by earning money from fighting old people, Green.

What’s Trending: Fighting Seniors Transcript

This is a transcript of the November 16, 2024, RGBots comic.

Panel One

Green is reading about the fight between Jake Paul and Mike Tyson on his phone.

Green: Can you believe how many millions of dollars Jake Paul and Mike Tyson made on that shitty fight? Hey Red!

Red (off-screen): Yeah?

Panel Two

Green looks like he has a great idea.

Green: Wheel my ass over to the closest retirement home and call me a rock ’em sock ’em robot.

The rhythm is gonna get you.

What’s Trending: Musical Interlude Transcript

This is a transcript of the October 19, 2024, RGBots comic.

Panel One

Green is delivering a campaign speech.

Green: I want to thank you all for attending my rally to take back America. Together, we can ensure a brighter future for everyone.

Panel Two

Green continues, transitioning to the next “speaker.”

Green: Now, though, I’d like to turn the mic over to my advisor. Please give it up for the Spotify playlist an intern cobbled together.

Hey, this previous comic paid off in the most horrifying way imaginable… so far.

What’s Trending: NeuralinkedIn Transcript

This is a transcript of the January 29, 2024, RGBots comic.

Panel One

Red is conveying some disturbing news to Green.

Red: Did you hear the first Neuralink implant in a human happened?

Panel Two

Green holds up a gun and points it at Red.

Green: Say “psych,” motherfucker. Say “psych” right goddamn now.

I think Green is broken. This is the funniest thing to ever happen.

What’s Trending: Literally The Funniest Thing Imaginable Transcript

The following is a transcript of the October 18, 2023, RGBots comic.

Panel One

Red is reading the news.

Red: I guess they’re gonna start charging people to have Twitter accounts now. I refuse to call it X.

Green (off-screen): HAHAHAHA

Panel Two

Green has nearly collapsed to the floor and is on his knees. He can’t control his laughing. Red is concerned.

Green: HAHAHAHAHA

Red: Green?

Talk about brand loyalty. But it could have been worse. It could have happened at Burning Man.

What’s Trending: Shit-Trawling Transcript

The following is a transcript of the September 27, 2023, RGBots comic.

Panel One

Red is reading a headline on Green’s phone.

Red: “Woman rescued from outhouse toilet after climbing in to retrieve Apple Watch, Michigan police say.”

Panel Two

Green is skimming the article as he talks it over with Red.

Red: Look, I don’t think I would ever do something like that myself, but I respect the move.

Green: She really made the best of a shitty situation.

Caption: apnews.com/article/outhouse-toilet-rescue-apple-watch-michigan-412b00a58658eb32c36e9610a6714b9a

Unstoppable streak for Pete Davidson

Pete Davidson and Madelyn Cline are dating, Us Weekly reports. pic.twitter.com/vMjltaLg1L

— Pop Base (@PopBase) September 22, 2023

What’s Trending: The Human Remora Transcript

The following is a transcript of the September 22, 2023, RGBots comic.

Panel One

Blue is reading what is trending.

Blue: Pete Davidson is trending again. Yes, it’s that time of the year, again.

Panel Two

Blue reacts to the news.

Blue: This time he seems to be dating Madelyn Cline. I like to call him “the human remora.”

From the guy who thought a subway made of cars would fight the traffic in Vegas.

What’s Trending: Neuralink Transcript

The following is a transcript of the September 20, 2023, RGBots comic.

Panel One

Green is reviewing the news on his phone.

Green: ‘Neuralink’ is about to go to human trials. They’re looking for humans to test it on.

Panel Two

Green glances at the readers and extends a mocking finger, wagging it for emphasis.

Green: You have to turn to monkey-brain-frying microchips to even get a taste of my godlike robot powers. Pathetic.

Different day. Same ritual.

What’s Trending: Alan Moore Transcript

The following is a transcript of the Oct 11, 2022, RGBots comic.

Panel One

Green is looking at the news about Alan Moore. Or more to the point, nothing new.

Green: Alan Moore has emerged from his cave once again to tell us comics are childish.

Panel Two

Green stares at the reader.

Green: The only thing more reliable is Mercury being in retrograde.

Surely, a cold metal rod could get to the heart of things.

What’s Trending: A Probing Question Transcript

This is a transcript of the August 18, 2022, RGBots comic.

Panel One

Red is reading news about a government probe regarding UFOs and UAPs.

Red: How come when you hear about a Government probe…

Panel Two

Red continues.

Red: it’s never about some oligarch getting a cold metal rod shoved up their ass?

Green: Right?

Smiling for others is a sign of a weak will. Smile for yourself.

What’s Trending: SMILE! Transcript

This is a transcript of the August 9, 2022, RGBots comic.

Panel One

Blue is reviewing the latest happenings on her phone.

Blue: Let’s see what is on Nextdoor today!

Post: “Does anyone smile anymore? . Toda was my sons first day of first grade and I Noticed dirty looks everywhere I looked people hate too see you happy but I’m going to continue to spread joy no matter what.”

Panel Two

Blue glares at the audience.

Blue: Next time I see her I am going to frown even fucking harder. I will grimace in pain.

It is good to take precautions.

What’s Trending: A Job Interview Transcript

This is a transcript of the July 14, 2022, RGBots comic.

Panel One

Red and Blue are talking.

Red: I heard you have a job interview today!

Blue: Yep! It’s at Telsa. Elon Musk is interviewing me.

Panel Two

Red is direct.

Red: Cool! Bring a dental dam.

The avatar of non-binary rage.

What’s Trending – Ezra Miller Transcript

This is a transcript of the May 12, 2022, RGBots comic.

Panel One

Green is in the foreground. He clutches his knees to his chest, rocking back and forth, worried. Blue and Red observe from a distance.

Red: Whoa… What happened to Green?

Blue: Green Won a trip to Hawaii.

Panel Two

The same pose is in this panel.

Red: My god…

Green: I don’t want Ezra Miller to get me.

Those monkey JPEGs may be down in value but I am rich in laughs.

What’s Trending – Missing Apes Transcript

This is a transcript of the May 10, 2022, RGBots comic.

Panel One

Close up on Red, he appears to be judging Green.

Red: You’re laughing. Men are losing money on their bored apes and getting divorced and you’re laughing.

Panel Two

Close-up of Green, doubled over with laughter.

Green: LOL LMAO

Oh boy, #BenShapiro is trending.

What’s Trending – Kink Shapiro Transcript

This is a transcript of the April 28, 2022, RGBots comic.

Panel One

Blue is reading the headlines.

Blue: Ben Shapiro is trending again for being humiliated in public. He gets off on it so hard it’s his first kink listed on his FetLife profile.

Panel Two

Blue stares at the reader.

Blue: You are now cursed with the idea of Ben Shapiro having a FetLife profile.