I hope some bright young intern has a nougat of wisdom to see his treatment through.

Candyland Medical Transcript

This is a transcript of the August 20th, 2026 RGBots comic.

Panel One

Red approaches Green with news, and he seems frantic about it.

Red: Oh my God, Green. Terrible News!

Green: What’s up, Red?

Panel Two

Red explains the shocking news to Green.

Red: King Candy has cancer!

Green: What? What kind?

Panel Three

Green looks on in concern as Red relays what he knows.

Red (OS): All I know for sure is that they found a mallownoma.

Panel Four

Green falls out of the panel with a flip-take. A rimshot is heard. A bad pun has entered the world.

You can ask the RGBots a question any time you’d like, and they may answer it in a comic! You can help support the comic with donations and subscriptions to the webhost.

Special thanks to Couch Gregor for the question.

Ask the bots a question right here.

It’s Elemental Transcript

This is a transcript of the October 21, 2024, RGBots comic.

Panel One

The panel depicts a black void with white text.

Couch Gregor Asks: What is the most comfortable element of your time?  

Panel Two

Blue is in “explainer” mode and relays her unique point of view.

Blue: Gold. Gold is stable and when the inevitable collapse of the American experiment happens I will be safe and secure in my bunker with my gold. It’s called the “gold standard” for a reason.

Panel Three

Red decides to make a pun and glances to the side.

Red: Good ol’ boron. It certainly ain’t bor-ing, am I right?

Panel Four

Green has pulled out a gun.

Green: You were warned about this, Red.

Now that is how you do it, SNL.

Now we’ve got bad blood Transcript

The following is a transcript of the Nov. 16, 2021, RGBots comic.

Panel One

Blue is workshopping new material to Green.

Blue: I’ve been trying to write a joke about Taylor Swift… but the process has been far from it.

Panel Two

Green stares at Blue.

Panel Three

Blue has a smug expression as she continues.

Blue: What, was it not tailored enough for you?

Panel Four

Dramatic low angle, looking up at a squinting Green.

Green just totally fucking owned that red idiot.

Dread of a Duckdu Transcript

The following is a transcript for this RGBots comic.

Panel One

Green is speaking to Red, who is just off-screen.

Green: Hey, Red, can you throw me the duckdu?

Red: The what?

Green: Dude, c’mon… the duckdu.

Panel Two

Red is confused.

Red: I don’t follow.

Green (off-screen): For real?

Panel Three

Green has raised his arms in frustration.

Green: You’ve never heard of a duckdu?!

Red: What’s a duckdu?

Panel Four

A tight crop of Green shows his eyes; the text is large and bold.

Green: QUACK.