We’re not supposed to speak ill of the dead, but fuck can that be a challenge.

What’s Trending: Farewell, Ladybug Transcript

This is a transcript of the July 12th, 2026 RGBots comic.

Panel One

Green is sitting at his news desk with a tablet, reading news.

Green: Breaking news, as it turns out, Sen. Lindsey “Ladybug” Graham has passed away due to a brief and sudden illness. To avoid editorializing, I am just going to go silent now.

Panel Two

Green tries to stay silent.

Green: … This is really hard.

You can ask the RGBots a question any time you’d like, and they may answer it in a comic! You can help support the comic with donations and subscriptions to the webhost.

Good thing the guy asking the question was a friend or this would be really mean.

Read Kevin’s book, The Errant Apprentice, right now.

Reader Question: A Haunting Thought Transcript

This is a transcript of the December 2nd, 2025, RGBots comic.

Panel One

A black void has white text, a reader question.

Text: Kevin Asks: Do the RGBots fuck?

Panel Two

Blue deadpans at the screen.

Blue: I would say “ask your mom.”

Panel Three

Blue pauses, thinking something over.

Panel Four

Blue continues speaking.

Blue: But I don’t have a spirit board on me.

You can ask the RGBots a question any time you’d like and they may answer it in a comic! You can help support the comic with donations and subscriptions to the webhost.

Visit the Patreon for the hardcore things you didn’t see.

Head Ache V Transcript

This is a transcript of the September 13, 2023, RGBots comic.

Panel One

Green and Blue are in the foreground, watching Red and Green’s corpse in the background.

Green: What the lemon-scented-fuck is going on here?

Blue: What are you doing here?

Panel Two

Green explains what happened.

Green: I just transferred my program to a backup unit. Never fight a bear without a backup.

Panel Three

Green and Blue continue to talk.

Blue: Well, better let Red know.

Green: Probably for the best.

Panel Four

Green and Blue continue to look on at Red.

Green: He didn’t try to have sex with it… did he?

Blue: I wasn’t here the whole time.

You’d find this sort of thing in Buffalo Bill’s basement.

Head Ache IV Transcript

This is a transcript of the September 11, 2023, RGBots comic.

Panel One

Red is standing in front of the corpse of Green, still pretending he is alive.

Red: Hey, buddy. You seem hungry.

Panel Two

The corpse lies motionless.

Red (off-screen): But you don’t have a mouth. Well, I can fix that.

Panel Three

A black void and caption.

Caption: One Hole Saw Later

Panel Four

The corpse has a fancy new mouth carved into the head.

Red: Perfect.

What’s a little head between friends anyway?

Head Ache III Transcript

This is a transcript of the March 27, 2023, RGBots comic.

Panel One

The dummy head sits on Green’s neck stump, emotionless.

Red: Still not it. It just feels so lifeless.

Panel Two

Red glances at his handiwork, more motivated than ever.

Red: Don’t worry, buddy. I got this.

Panel Three

The dummy head is now crudely colored green with a grotesque facsimile of Green’s face, with the text “GrEEN” written across the forehead.

Caption: LATER

Red: Damn.

Panel Four

Red looks upon his work.

Red: It’s uncanny.

It seems Red is coping.

Head Ache II Transcript

This is a transcript of the March 16, 2023, RGBots comic.

Panel One

Red seems to be glancing at something.

Red: Okay. This is it. I fixed it.

Panel Two

Green’s corpse has a mannequin head stuck on the neck stump.

Red (off-screen): Fuck. Nevermind.

Panel Three

Red glances around.

Red: Let me try something else.

Panel Four

The mannequin head now has a Werner Herzog paper mask taped to it.

Red (off-screen): Damn it!

You can hardly tell he was mauled to death by a bear.

Head Ache Transcript

This is a transcript of the March 7, 2023, RGBots comic.

Panel One

Red stands across from the upright corpse of Green.

Red: Hey, Green. How have you been? Still quiet, huh?

Panel Two

Close crop panel of Green’s corpse.

Red (off-screen): This doesn’t feel right. Something crazy about all of this.

Panel Three

Red glances to the side, thinking about something.

Red: I wonder…

Panel Four

Green’s corpse now has a jack-o-lantern placed on it as Red glances upward at it.

Caption: LATER

Red: Ah, much better.

Thank you, Green, for taking valuable time out of your busy schedule as a corpse to appear in this comic.

Remember that you can ask questions of any bots to be answered in a comic!

Question Time: Sounding Off Transcript

This is a transcript of the February 28, 2023, RGBots comic.

Panel One

The black panel features a question from TheUberBadnik@Comics.Town.

Question: How would each of you describe each other’s voices? I’ve been imagining that Blue sounds like Glados, Red sounds like Wall-E, and Green sounds like the British AI voice that reads off memes stolen from Reddit on Tiktok or Youtube

Panel Two

Blue raises her arm in explanation.

Blue: Actually, yeah, maybe like Glados if you had Amy Poehler do the initial voice and filtered it. Not a bad approximation.

Panel Three

Red answers.

Red: Patrick Stewart.

Blue (off-screen): Absolute Lie. You Bobcat-Goldthwait-Brian-Posehn-sounding bitch.

Panel Four

Green’s lifeless, disfigured corpse lies still.

Caption: *Charlie Day.

Is the comic going to be called RBots now?

The Man vs. Bear Debate: Part Seven Transcript

This is a transcript of the February 21, 2023, RGBots comic.

Panel One

Red and Blue are glancing down at something just off the panel.

Panel Two

Green’s mutilated body sits in a pool of oil. Deep gouges are torn through his body, and he is missing an arm and head.

Panel Three

Red and Blue continue to look at the aftermath of the bear fight.

Blue: Wow.

Panel Four

Red and Blue keep looking at the body.

Red: I can’t believe Green is fucking dead.

We make no excuses.

Rest in piss, Robert Durst.

Frog Comes to Helltown Transcript

This is a transcript of the second January 10, 2022, RGBots comic.

Panel One

Green approaches Red with a question.

Green: Remember that guy, Robert Durst?

Red: From Limp Bizkit?

Panel Two

Green explains.

Green: No, I am not talking about Jacksonville’s finest. The old guy who murdered, like, several people, and outted himself in a documentary about his life.

Panel Three

Red remembers the situation now and thinks back on it.

Red; Oh, yeah, I remember. He sounded a bit like a frog there when he outted himself. What’s up?

Panel Four

Green stands in front of Red, his arms on his hip. Red has fallen forward on his face due to the power of the pun.

Green: He croaked.

“Child, this is how you dismember a torso. Remember, smaller pieces are dissolve much faster in the acid.”

Parental Guidance Transcript

This is the transcript for the June 10, 2021 RGBots.

Panel One: A close up of Red looking at the viewer.

Red: Oh. . .
Oh God, oh God. . .

Panel Two: Red, on the left, faces Blue on the right.

Red: Blue. . . you won’t believe. . .

Panel Three: A close-up of the two bots together.

Blue: Shh.
Shhhh.

Panel Four: A close-up on Blue’s faceless face.

Blue: Let momma show you how to hide the body.

If any of this is surprising you probably haven’t looked at history.

What’s Trending – The Royal Family

This is a transcript of the March 8, 2021, RGBots comic.

Panel One:

Green is scrolling on his cellphone.

Green: Apparently, the Royal Family is trending because of some Oprah interview with Harry and Megan.
People are shocked – SHOCKED! = by what they are hearing.

Panel Two:

Green, having lowered the phone, addresses the viewer.

Green: Who knew the family responsible for killing Princess Diana, because she was dating an Egyptian man, was racist?
Nobody could see it coming.

How many urolagnians saw the hashtag #RestInPiss and were disappointed before growing delighted again?

What’s Trending: Rest In Piss Transcript

This is a transcript of the February 17, 2021, RGBots comic.

Panel One

Green is reading something on his smart phone.

Green: #RestInPiss is trending.

Red: How awful a person do you need to be to get that to be your legacy?

Panel Two

Green holds the phone out in front of Red.

Green: Read on, brobot.

Red: Oh, shit. Carry on, then.

RGBots get real.

Commercial Break #1 Transcript

The following is a transcript for this RGBots comic.

Panel One

Green is speaking to the reader.

Green: You begin to feel cold. Your body is giving out. The flesh machine that you are is shutting down. In your death bed you feel your eyelids grow heavy.

Panel Two

Green leans forward to put emphasis on these lines.

Green: The fatigue of realization of an unremarkable existence begins to settle over you. Your disinterested progeny turn to one another, discussing how they will divide up your meager, pointless possessions as you finally fade.

Panel Three

A closer view of Green, as though he is leaning in.

Green: Your wheezing death rattle does not register with them as they are debating who will keep your collection of ceramic clowns.

Panel Four

A black panel with white text. There is a slogan: You can’t outrun your mortality, but for everything else there is Nike©.

We like Blue because she tells it like it is.

You’ve got a few problems Transcript

The following is a transcript for this RGBots comic.

Panel One

Blue is speaking.

Blue: There’s no need to cry.

Panel Two

She looks at an unknown individual off-screen.

Blue: I mean, sure, you may be a box-shaped moron, but you can still live a full life.

Panel Three

Red is staring in shock.

Red: I – I’m crying because my dog died.

Blue: He’s in a better place now…

Panel Four

Blue and Red in the frame.

Blue: … away from you.