You can actually just shove them, and they’ll roll to their side just like a cow. It’s crazy. They make a “skibidi” noise when you do.

Generation ZzzQuil Transcript

This is a transcript of the October 20th, 2026 RGBots comic.

Panel One

Blue is ranting to Green.

Blue: I’ve been dealing with a little Gen-Z shithead, and I just don’t understand them.

Green: What’s got you pressed, grandma?

Panel Two

Blue isn’t having it.

Blue: Fuck off, this isn’t a generational thing; this is a “they’re so fucking scared of everything they barely qualify as existing” thing. They don’t talk. They don’t try things if there is a risk of failure.

Panel Three

Blue continues.

Blue: They just stare and don’t do any real interacting with other people, even in their own age group. They’re just meat sacks that lack personality.

Green: I threw a blanket over one once, and they went to sleep like a canary.

Panel Four

Blue wraps up as Green offers a suggestion.

Blue: They’re perpetually afraid of coming off as cringe, but they are so fucking dull nobody would notice anyway.

Green: Have you tried lecturing them on this? I heard it might help.

You can ask the RGBots a question any time you’d like, and they may answer it in a comic! You can help support the comic with donations and subscriptions to the webhost.

True tales to astonish.

Dumpster Driving Transcript

This is a transcript of the September 10th, 2026 RGBots comic.

Panel One

Blue and Green discuss hanging out last night.

Blue: It was fun hanging out last night.

Green: Yeah, for sure.

Blue: What did you do when you got home?

Panel Two

Green explains his night.

Green: I decided to take out the trash and encountered two unhoused gentlemen fucking behind the dumpster.

Panel Three

Blue stares in horror.

Panel Four

Green explains some phrasing.

Green: I want to use the phrasing of “walked in on,” but that’s not necessarily possible given that they were fucking behind a dumpster.

You can ask the RGBots a question any time you’d like, and they may answer it in a comic! You can help support the comic with donations and subscriptions to the webhost.

WE LIKE TO PARTY

Hey now, hey now, hear what I say now Transcript

This is a transcript of the September 8th, 2026 RGBots comic.

Panel One

Green asks for a report from the defensive front of some unknown crisis.

Green: What news from the front?

Blue: One of our scouting party was hurled back to us by catapult, beheaded, with a note stuffed into the stump of their neck. All the note said was “we like to party.”

Panel Two

Green is shocked.

Green: My god.

Panel Three

Blue continues her report.

Blue: Further reports have spotted some strange transportation carrying masses of soldiers.

Green (OS): What is this vehicle called?

Panel Four

Blue finishes her report.

Blue: My Lord, it is called the Vengabus… and it is coming.

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If you ever partied with the line cooks, you’d know they are about 50% cocaine and 50% white Monster Energy.

Booger Sugar, Salt, Fat, Acid and Heat Transcript

This is a transcript of the August 27th, 2026 RGBots comic.

Panel One

Green is interviewing for a job.

Blue: So what are you interested in being a line cook for my restaurant?

Green: I have a passion for service and cooking.

Panel Two

Blue continues her interview.

Blue: I see you chose to disclose that you spent a year in treatment for narcotics?

Panel Three

Green is honest with Blue.

Green: I used to have a coke problem, but I quit.

Panel Four

Blue has bad news.

Blue: I’m sorry, we’re looking for someone more committed.

You can ask the RGBots a question any time you’d like, and they may answer it in a comic! You can help support the comic with donations and subscriptions to the webhost.

Next week: Killer tomatoes.

Feast or Farming Transcript

This is a transcript of the August 11th, 2026 RGBots comic.

Panel One

Green sits at the RGBots News desk. The story card reads “Peter Piper Picked a Pickled Plague?”

Green: Welcome to RGBots News, I am your anchor, Green.

Panel Two

Green conveys the lead story. A caption has a link to a CNN Story about Taylor Farms.

Green: More troubling news from Taylor Farms this week following several recalls, most recently involving avocados and jalapeños. Mexican food fans continue to suffer.

Caption: www.cnn.com/2026/08/10/salmonella-jalapeno-taylor-farms

Panel Three

Green hands the broadcast over.

Green: For the latest in this ongoing health crisis, we turn to Blue at the scene. Blue?

Blue: Thank you, Green.

Panel Four

Blue continues the news segment.

Blue: It has been reported that the dead are beginning to rise after consuming Taylor Farms produce and having brief, sudden bouts of terminal illnesses. The US Food and Drug Administration’s current advice is to “not worry about it.” I saw a farmworker eat a man, Green.

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I still don’t know what their stance is on Palestine; I just see a lot of pictures of crying kids and bombed-out tent cities with the text “maybe?” stenciled on them.

Ideological Art: Part Two Transcript

This is a transcript of the July 24th, 2026 RGBots comic.

Panel One

Green and Blue are talking about Blue’s most recent art show experience.

Blue: I decided to check out the Democrat art show this time.

Green: How did that one go?

Panel Two

Blue continues.

Blue: AIPAC Brownshirts pulled me into a room and interrogated me for an hour. They made me sign a pledge committing myself to support Israel.

Panel Three

Green just stares as Blue continues.

Blue: There was a lot of Trump art featuring diapers and obesity.

Panel Four

Blue finishes describing her experience.

Green: That sounds pretty bad.

Blue: They made me join a mailing list before I could leave, Green. I keep getting fundraising emails. They are getting walloped in every state and need my support now.

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It transitioned so quickly into a gun show a few aisles in.

Ideological Art: Part One Transcript

This is a transcript of the July 21st, 2026 RGBots comic.

Panel One

Green and Blue are talking about Blue’s recent art show experience.

Blue: I decided to check out the Republican art show.

Green: Why?

Blue: Morbid curiosity.

Panel Two

Green asks for more information.

Green: How was it?

Blue: Not great. A lot of memes, but the worst versions of them.

Panel Three

Blue continues.

Blue: Hundreds of violations of US Flag Code.

Panel Four

Blue continues to complain about the experience.

Blue: A lot of weirdly fetishistic images of trans folk. Homoerotic swole Trump. They inspected my genitals on the way in.

You can ask the RGBots a question any time you’d like, and they may answer it in a comic! You can help support the comic with donations and subscriptions to the webhost.

You know the way to get rid of rats is by kicking them out, right?

Virtue Fishing Transcript

This is a transcript of the July 17th, 2026 RGBots comic.

Panel One

Blue is discussing her plan to try to earn a little money down the line by sharing her writing.

Blue: I’ve decided to start sharing some writing on Substack to get some eyes on it. Might lead to work later, you know?

Panel Two

Red protests!

Red: You picked a bad platform. There are fascists all over Substack!

Panel Three

Blue is shocked by the lack of support.

Blue: My brother in Christ. I am just trying to be able to feed myself.

Panel Four

Blue is dumbstruck.

Blue: I can just block the Nazis.

You can ask the RGBots a question any time you’d like, and they may answer it in a comic! You can help support the comic with donations and subscriptions to the webhost.

Those people? COMMUNISTS.

Patriot Games Transcript

This is a transcript of the July 9th, 2026 RGBots comic.

Panel One

Red is talking to Blue about a rumor he heard.

Red: There is a rumor going around that you’re a… foreign model.

Panel Two

Blue is shocked and defensive.

Blue: What? I am American as they come. I own more guns than books.

Panel Three

Blue builds her case.

Blue: I eat three hot dogs a day.

Panel Four

Blue continues to highlight her American nature.

Blue: Certain people are not allowed at my church.

You can ask the RGBots a question any time you’d like, and they may answer it in a comic! You can help support the comic with donations and subscriptions to the webhost.

These robots play some weird fucking games sometimes.

Knock Glock Transcript

This is a transcript of the June 30th, 2026 RGBots comic.

Panel One

Green approaches.

Green: Knock knock.

Panel Two

Blue responds.

Blue: Who is there?

Panel Three

Green pulls out a gun, looking at Blue.

Panel Four

Green speaks.

Green: Why, your neighborhood door-to-door gun salesman, of course!

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Green’s been so lazy that there isn’t even an extra joke here.

Alternative Development Perspectives Transcript

This is a transcript of the June 23rd, 2026 RGBots comic.

Panel One

Green is speaking to the reader about some life changes.

Green: I’ve been in a transitional period regarding my career, and I have been taking time to recharge and evolve. Working on my personal development.

Panel Two

Green lays out his vision.

Green: I feel a good sense of growth is coming from this, and I expect great things ahead.

Panel Three

Red and Blue have counterpoints that they express.

Red: You’ve been “recharging” for two weeks, you lazy asshole.

Blue: Sleeping all day doesn’t count as “personal development.”

Panel Four

Green storms off in a hurry.

Green: Oh, look. My social battery is drained.

You can ask the RGBots a question any time you’d like, and they may answer it in a comic! You can help support the comic with donations and subscriptions to the webhost.

If they’re so concerned with pounding, let them lose a couple of teeth in the process.

Sometimes violence is the answer.

Leadership with Impact Transcript

This is a transcript of the June 9th, 2026 RGBots comic.

Panel One

Red is approaching Blue, asking a question.

Red: What are you up to?

Blue: Well, I figured with the midterm elections coming up, now is the time to start planning my presidential bid.

Panel Two

Blue elaborates and asks Red for feedback.

Blue: I am currently grappling with a key piece of policy. Can I ask you to hear me out?

Red (OS): Okay.

Blue: Okay, so my proposal is this…

Panel Three

Blue explains the thinking behind a bold new social policy.

Blue: You are legally allowed to punch anyone who uses the term “Foid” in the mouth. Better, we hold a stadium event every year and televise incels being punched in the mouth, one at a time, by marines of my choosing.

Panel Four

Red mulls over the policy.

Red: It’s a pretty simple policy, but sounds effective.

Blue (OS); I want to deliver day one actions.

You can ask the RGBots a question any time you’d like, and they may answer it in a comic! You can help support the comic with donations and subscriptions to the webhost.

That personal development training sure makes it gentler to let someone know they are the problem.

“I” Statements Transcript

This is a transcript of the June 4th, 2026 RGBots comic.

Panel One

Green is relaying a story and wraps up his point. Blue responds.

Green: So yeah, he says I can’t borrow the car anymore and that sucks.

Blue: Okay, having heard you out…

Panel Two

Blue acknowledges Green’s views.

Blue: I see your perspective.

Panel Three

Blue talks about the validity of Green’s feelings.

Blue: I acknowledge your feelings on the issue. That does suck.

Panel Four

Blue continues using “I” statements.

Blue: But I still feel you are at fault, you sociopathic goblin.

You can ask the RGBots a question any time you’d like, and they may answer it in a comic! You can help support the comic with donations and subscriptions to the webhost.

You can’t stop us from injecting ourselves into your party because we technically qualify as a webcomic.

Mandatory Comic Day Transcript

This is a transcript of the May 11th, 2026 RGBots comic.

Panel One

Green, Red, and Blue are celebrating Webcomic Day!

Green: Happy Webcomic Day from your friends at RGBots!

Panel Two

Close-up of Red.

Red: You don’t have to like us.

Panel Three

Close-up of Blue.

Blue: But you do have to include us.

Panel Four

Close-up of Green.

Green: We get to go to more birthday parties that way.

You can ask the RGBots a question any time you’d like, and they may answer it in a comic! You can help support the comic with donations and subscriptions to the webhost.

You will fuck, and you will be fucked… to unite this country.

Switch It Up Transcript

This is a transcript of the May 7th, 2026 RGBots comic.

Panel One

Blue is thinking

Blue: I don’t believe in tops or bottoms.

Panel Two

Blue continues to reason things out.

Blue: Class division has done enough damage to society.

Panel Three

Blue conveys a philosophy.

Blue: Don’t let the system keep you face down, ass up.

Panel Four

A final message from Blue.

Blue: We need to be more versatile as a culture and switch things up.

You can ask the RGBots a question any time you’d like, and they may answer it in a comic! You can help support the comic with donations and subscriptions to the webhost.

If you can’t hear their accents, it may be that you’ve not been seeing the animated video files associated with each strip. Just click around and look very, very hard.

They’re there, I swear. This is not an attempt to dredge up more ad revenue.

Thank you for the question, ItsFriday!

Lost in Translation Transcript

This is a transcript of the April 28th 2026, RGBots comic.

Panel One

Black void with white text.

Caption: ItsFriday Asks: I assume the language you speak is translated to human understandable English in the comics. How is your native language working?

Panel Two

Blue is first.

Blue: Actually, our native language is English. We just have wildly different accents.

Panel Three

Red chimes in as Blue continues her point.

Blue: I happen to speak with a Transatlantic accent. I thought it was fairly obvious.

Red: I’m sure it’s not hard to realize I come from Southern Texas.

Panel Four

Green is last to respond.

Green: And I speak with whatever British accent a sickly Victorian orphan spoke in.

You can ask the RGBots a question any time you’d like, and they may answer it in a comic! You can help support the comic with donations and subscriptions to the webhost.

It’s the simple things.

Thank you for the question, CouchGregor!

Hobby Time Transcript

This is a transcript of the April 23rd 2026, RGBots comic.

Panel One

Black void with white text.

Caption: CouchGregor Asks: What is the most comfortable element of your time?

Panel Two

Blue is first.

Blue: Bullying Red.

Panel Three

Green is second.

Green: Bullying Red.

Panel Four

Red is last to respond.

Red: I like to read.

You can ask the RGBots a question any time you’d like, and they may answer it in a comic! You can help support the comic with donations and subscriptions to the webhost.

You know the crucifixion scene would have gone hard with whatever needle drop Tarantino chose.

The Toe-sen One Transcript

This is a transcript of the April 16h, 2026, RGBots comic.

Panel One

Red and Blue are having a conversation.

Red: One of the great things about living on this post-apocalyptic wasteland of Earth-

Blue: Which is established canon!

Red: Absolutely.

Panel Two

Red continues his point.

Red: One of the best things is having a complete record of human culture accessible to us. Which includes every movie ever made.

Panel Three

Blue weighs in with a thought.

Blue: Can you imagine being a human and not having experienced Quentin Tarantino’s surprise biblical epic?

Red: Right? It was a wonderful film.

Panel Four

Both robots continue to discuss the movie.

Red: The seven minute montage of Jesus washing people’s feet was a unique choice.

Blue: It was surprisingly emotional.

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We’re laughing our way to fiery deaths, but at least the jokes are fire. Fire, like the fiery deaths we are laughing our way to.

Red Dawning Transcript

This is a transcript of the April 8th, 2026, RGBots comic.

Panel One

Red, Green, and Blue are having a conversation. Blue and Green seem okay, but Red seems stressed.

Green: Huh, so we seemed to narrowly avoid World War Three this week, huh?

Blue: Haha, same time next week?

Red: NNNGH.

Panel Two

Red crashes out, centered in the frame, shouting.

Red: WE CAN’T KEEP LIVING LIKE THIS!

Panel Three

The camera is even closer to Red, but he can barely be seen behind his dialogue.

Red: WE ARE THE FROG IN THE POT AND TREATING ANY OF THIS AS A JOKE IS GOING TO BOIL US ALIVE!

Panel Four

We are even closer to red, but he is still barely seen because of the dialogue taking up the panel.

Red: HUMOR IS A MASK FOR DREAD, NOT THE SOLUTION!

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This is the 300th RGBots comic, not counting all those “What’s Trending” ones.

Crash Transcript

This is a transcript of the April 6th, 2026, RGBots comic.

Panel One

Red and Blue are breaking bad news to Green.

Blue: Hey, Green, sorry. Turns out I can’t give you a ride to that anime convention.

Red: Also, I can’t dogsit for you.

Green: I bought these goddamn tickets four months ago!

Panel Two

Green is beside himself. Red tries to soothe him.

Red: Sorry, man, nothing to do.

Blue: Yeah, sorry. Maybe someone else can help you out?

Green: I ONLY KNOW YOU TWO!

Panel Three

Green is very stressed out.

GREEN: JESUS FUCKING CHRIST WHY IS EVERYTHING SO DIFFICULT?!

Red: Damn, bro is crashing out.

Panel Four

Panel depicts a Windows 98 “Blue Screen of Death.”

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Though, does this really act as a surprise at this point?

What’s Trending: Easter Surprise Transcript

This is a transcript of the April 5th, 2026, RGBots comic.

Panel One

The image depicts an Easter 2026 Truth Social post from Donald J. Trump.

Post text: Tuesday will be Power Plant Day, and Bridge Day, all wrapped up in one, in Iran. There will be nothing like it!!! Open the Fuckin’ Strait, you crazy bastards, or you’ll be living in Hell – JUST WATCH! Praise be to Allah. President DONALD J. TRUMP

Panel Two

Green, Red, and Blue look terrified. The panel is overlaid with a red distorted visualization indicating extreme stress.

Green: I’m so tired of living in interesting times.

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Every time I see a black truck with a Raiders sticker on the back window, I am aware I am driving behind someone who has kicked a dog for pleasure at least once.

Easy Living #4 Transcript

This is a transcript of the April 2nd, 2026, RGBots comic.

Panel One

Blue is here to share a tip and welcomes the reader.

Blue: I am here to share another tip to make your life just a little bit easier. One thing that has made my life easier is avoiding Raiders fans.

Panel Two

The camera zooms in on Blue to convey the seriousness of what she is saying.

Blue: Do not engage them, let them pass you in traffic in their black or silver pickup trucks. Good people are not Raiders fans.

Panel Three

Blue continues laying out the stakes.

Blue: Raiders gear, stickers, and flags are, in fact, red flags. They will call you a slur. And that is only the Las Vegas fans.

Panel Four

Blue finishes her point.

Blue: If you encounter someone who has been a Raiders fan since they were back in Oakland, you know that person has done some dark shit in their past. You don’t need that toxicity in your life.

You can ask the RGBots a question any time you’d like, and they may answer it in a comic! You can help support the comic with donations and subscriptions to the webhost.

But who was Daley?

Kash Money Transcript

This is a transcript of the March 26th, 2026, RGBots comic.

Panel One

Green approaches with an exciting discovery as he is holding his phone.

Green: Holy shit, guys! I just got an email from the director of the FBI. And he is offering me money!

Panel Two

Green takes the slings and arrows of his non-believing friends.

Red: Bullshit.

Blue: It was spam, Green.

Green: Oh yeah, read this!

Panel Three

Green’s phone has the email.

Email: “This is Mr Kash Patel the new Director of Federal Bureau Of Investigation (FBI) . I found out that the delivery Agent that was supposed to deliver your fund to you did not do so and the fund is here in the FBI custody which is the reason why I am contacting you. I’m a very honest man and I do not lie, as I speak to you now, your fund is here in my custody so I want you to resend your information and I will get your fund delivered to your doorstep without any Daley. kindly message me back at kashpatel0023@gmail.com”

Panel Four

Red and Blue are shocked but buying in.

Red: Well, shit…

Blue: It certainly reads as dumb as fuck. This might be the real deal.

Green: Told you!

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See how a schedule holds up when you’re tired. It becomes mighty optional, then.

Unwelcome Advice Transcript

This is a transcript of the March 13th, 2026, RGBots comic.

Panel One

Green tries to rally Red and Blue to make a comic.

Green: Alright, gang. Time to make today’s comic.

Red: But it’s Friday. We’ve been updating on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

Panel Two

Blue weighs in with a further scheduling inconsistency.

Blue: Yeah, and we updated on Monday earlier this week. What’s going on? Why is our schedule so different this week?

Panel Three

Green stands there, alarmed by the backtalk.

Panel Four

Green answers.

Green: Because fuck you, that’s why.

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This is what happens when you try to implement discipline in a craft.

Unwelcome Advice Transcript

This is a transcript of the March 9th, 2026, RGBots comic.

Panel One

Green enters the scene, his head having had the top half violently torn away.

Green: Guys… I fucked up today. Is it bad? It feels bad.

Panel Two

Blue and Red are alarmed at Green’s condition.

Red: Bruh, you’re missing the top of your fucking head.

Blue: What happened?

Panel Three

Green is having trouble remembering due to the brain trauma.

Green: My memory is a little fuzzy.

Panel Four

Green relays what he can.

Green: The last thing I remember was telling some community college creative writing students not to use self-insert characters. Everything went black after that.

You can ask the RGBots a question any time you’d like and they may answer it in a comic! You can help support the comic with donations and subscriptions to the webhost.