I still don’t know what their stance is on Palestine; I just see a lot of pictures of crying kids and bombed-out tent cities with the text “maybe?” stenciled on them.

Ideological Art: Part Two Transcript

This is a transcript of the July 24th, 2026 RGBots comic.

Panel One

Green and Blue are talking about Blue’s most recent art show experience.

Blue: I decided to check out the Democrat art show this time.

Green: How did that one go?

Panel Two

Blue continues.

Blue: AIPAC Brownshirts pulled me into a room and interrogated me for an hour. They made me sign a pledge committing myself to support Israel.

Panel Three

Green just stares as Blue continues.

Blue: There was a lot of Trump art featuring diapers and obesity.

Panel Four

Blue finishes describing her experience.

Green: That sounds pretty bad.

Blue: They made me join a mailing list before I could leave, Green. I keep getting fundraising emails. They are getting walloped in every state and need my support now.

You can ask the RGBots a question any time you’d like, and they may answer it in a comic! You can help support the comic with donations and subscriptions to the webhost.

It transitioned so quickly into a gun show a few aisles in.

Ideological Art: Part One Transcript

This is a transcript of the July 21st, 2026 RGBots comic.

Panel One

Green and Blue are talking about Blue’s recent art show experience.

Blue: I decided to check out the Republican art show.

Green: Why?

Blue: Morbid curiosity.

Panel Two

Green asks for more information.

Green: How was it?

Blue: Not great. A lot of memes, but the worst versions of them.

Panel Three

Blue continues.

Blue: Hundreds of violations of US Flag Code.

Panel Four

Blue continues to complain about the experience.

Blue: A lot of weirdly fetishistic images of trans folk. Homoerotic swole Trump. They inspected my genitals on the way in.

You can ask the RGBots a question any time you’d like, and they may answer it in a comic! You can help support the comic with donations and subscriptions to the webhost.

We’re not supposed to speak ill of the dead, but fuck can that be a challenge.

What’s Trending: Farewell, Ladybug Transcript

This is a transcript of the July 12th, 2026 RGBots comic.

Panel One

Green is sitting at his news desk with a tablet, reading news.

Green: Breaking news, as it turns out, Sen. Lindsey “Ladybug” Graham has passed away due to a brief and sudden illness. To avoid editorializing, I am just going to go silent now.

Panel Two

Green tries to stay silent.

Green: … This is really hard.

You can ask the RGBots a question any time you’d like, and they may answer it in a comic! You can help support the comic with donations and subscriptions to the webhost.

If they’re so concerned with pounding, let them lose a couple of teeth in the process.

Sometimes violence is the answer.

Leadership with Impact Transcript

This is a transcript of the June 9th, 2026 RGBots comic.

Panel One

Red is approaching Blue, asking a question.

Red: What are you up to?

Blue: Well, I figured with the midterm elections coming up, now is the time to start planning my presidential bid.

Panel Two

Blue elaborates and asks Red for feedback.

Blue: I am currently grappling with a key piece of policy. Can I ask you to hear me out?

Red (OS): Okay.

Blue: Okay, so my proposal is this…

Panel Three

Blue explains the thinking behind a bold new social policy.

Blue: You are legally allowed to punch anyone who uses the term “Foid” in the mouth. Better, we hold a stadium event every year and televise incels being punched in the mouth, one at a time, by marines of my choosing.

Panel Four

Red mulls over the policy.

Red: It’s a pretty simple policy, but sounds effective.

Blue (OS); I want to deliver day one actions.

You can ask the RGBots a question any time you’d like, and they may answer it in a comic! You can help support the comic with donations and subscriptions to the webhost.

Today’s magic number is “two.”

What’s Trending: By the Number Transcript

This is a transcript of the April 29th, 2026, RGBots comic.

Panel One

Green is reading about the James Comey indictment – the second one.

Green: Oh wow, they indicted James Comey for posting the number 86-47 on his Instagram account? I wonder if they are planning on indicting me for my totally rad serial number?

Panel Two

Green recites his serial number.

Green: 86-47-69-420.

You can ask the RGBots a question any time you’d like, and they may answer it in a comic! You can help support the comic with donations and subscriptions to the webhost.

He could also be a great resource for the smaller-faced among us.

Anyway, source, as some of you all have trust issues.

What’s Trending: Sticking One’s Neck Out Transcript

This is a transcript of the March 1st, 2026, RGBots comic.

Panel One

Green is checking his phone and gets an update about Charlie Kirk, straight from hell.

Green: Did you hear that the Department of Education added a Charlie Kirk banner display?

Panel Two

Blue weighs in.

Blue: To be fair, he is a good teacher if you are looking to learn how to get shot in the neck.

You can ask the RGBots a question any time you’d like and they may answer it in a comic! You can help support the comic with donations and subscriptions to the webhost.

Always, and forever…

FUCK ICE

ICE vs. Cow Transcript

This is a transcript of the February 5th, 2026, RGBots comic.

Panel One

Red is outlining some important ideas.

Red: You can treat ICE agents as less than human because they have no souls.

Panel Two

Red doubles down.

Red: You can deny them bathrooms and food at your businesses.

Panel Three

Red continues to build on this point.

Red: They’re less than livestock.

Panel Four

Red has a smug expression, confident in his speaking a truth.

Red: At least a cow provides value through food and milk.

You can ask the RGBots a question any time you’d like and they may answer it in a comic! You can help support the comic with donations and subscriptions to the webhost.

It’s like if there was a sequel to Goodfellas where they get into the White House, but instead of a movie it is real, we’re living it, and there are bodies left in the wake of these poor decisions.

What’s Trending: War Pig Transcript

This is a transcript of the January 3rd, 2026, RGBots comic.

Panel One

Red is checking the news on Green’s smartphone.

Red: Let’s just see what is going on in world news today. Oh. Oh, fuck.

Panel Two

Green looks at the phone.

Green: We’re just snatching up sitting heads of state now?

Red: Sounds like we got a new Epstein files dump coming.

You can ask the RGBots a question any time you’d like and they may answer it in a comic! You can help support the comic with donations and subscriptions to the webhost.

You will never live in a society when you have an armed citizenry and you won’t have a single gun death. That is nonsense. It’s drivel. But I am — I think it’s worth it. I think it’s worth to have a cost of, unfortunately, some gun deaths every single year so that we can have the Second Amendment to protect our other God-given rights. That is a prudent deal. It is rational. Nobody talks like this. They live in a complete alternate universe.

• Charlie Kirk (source here)

The irony is palpable.

The Final Voyage of C. Kirk Transcript

This is a transcript of the September 10th, 2025, RGBots comic.

Panel One

Green is checking out something on his phone and he gets an idea. Red responds to him.

Green: So, I am thinking about starting a punk band.

Red: Out of nowhere?

Green: Not necessarily.

Panel Two

Green elucidates.

Green: Inspiration sometimes hits you like a bullet.

Red: Right, so what do you plan on calling your band?

Panel Three

Green leans in, sharing his thoughts.

Green: I have two ideas, maybe you can help me decide?

Red: Sure.

Panel Four

Green lays out his options.

Green: So, I am leaning toward “Kirky Shoot” or “Turning Point Blank.”

You can ask the RGBots a question any time you’d like and they may answer it in a comic! You can help support the comic with donations and subscriptions to the webhost.

I mean, Snoop Dogg will roll over for any bag of cash. Even if it’s fake money.

What’s Trending: Downward Dogg Transcript

This is a transcript of the January 19, 2025, RGBots comic.

Panel One

Red is indignant and disgusted.

Red: I can’t believe Snoop Dogg performed at a Crypto Ball for Trump’s meme coin. What a sellout!

Panel Two

Blue raises a valid point.

Blue: Anyone who has followed Snoop’s career knows one thing… If the check clears, anyone can get it Doggystyle.

You can ask the RGBots a question any time you’d like and they may answer it in a comic! You can help support the comic with donations and subscriptions to the webhost.

try to find a schedule or rhythm that works for me. Thanks for understanding.

The Kickflip Principle of Governance Transcript

This is a transcript of the January 9, 2025, RGBots comic.

Panel One

Green sits at his pundit desk and begins to lay out his ideology.

Green: I have thought long and hard about what principles I would pursue when I finally stage a coup and take over the government. First, I would introduce the “Kickflip Principle of Governance” regarding term limits.

Panel Two

Green patiently explains his idea.

Green: The principle is sound. You are limited to any time in a political office based on a single factor. Whether you are physically capable of landing a kickflip on a skateboard after a week’s worth of practice.

Panel Three

Green projects a great deal of confidence and authority.

Green: If you have the mental capacity to be taught, and to execute the trick, you have not aged yourself out of a position of governance. If you break your him in the attempt you’re probably too old to be running the nation.

Panel Four

Green finishes his explanation.

Green: This would solve many problems with our elected leaders.

You can ask the RGBots a question any time you’d like and they may answer it in a comic! You can help support the comic with donations and subscriptions to the webhost.

Yeah, we’re going to some weird places. Monday Night RAW also refers to the milk being served in school lunches. Thanks, RFK Jr.

What’s Trending: Educational Smackdown Transcript

This is a transcript of the November 20, 2024, RGBots comic.

Panel One

Blue is reading the news on her phone.

Blue: Linda McMahon for Secretary of Education? Truly a bold new direction in education.

Panel Two

Blue revels in the possibilities.

Blue: Teachers enter the classroom with theme songs. Faculty are encouraged to create heat between rival students to play out in the ring – no more standardized tests. HGH in the water fountains. Come to class late? Steel chair.

His first action will look for legal arguments to lower the age of consent.

Opening the Flood Gaetz Transcript

This is a transcript of the November 13, 2024, RGBots comic.

Panel One

Green seems to be fiddling with something, his back to the screen. Blue says something from off-camera.

Blue (off-screen): Hey, Matt Gaetz is going to be the Attorney General.

Panel Two

Green continues to tinker in silence, his back still to the camera.

Panel Three

Green’s head rotates at the neck. His face and back are now in the same direction. He is presumably still tinkering.

Panel Four

He looks angry.

Green: Fucking what?

Red killed himself at 2 AM this morning.

The Day After Transcript

This is a transcript of the November 6, 2024, RGBots comic.

Panel One

Blue approaches Green, wanting to start a chat.

Blue: So… wanna talk about –

Green: No.

Panel Two

Green storms off.

Green: Not feeling today. See ya.

Panel Three

Blue stares at the viewer, not sure of what to do.

Panel Four

The comic ends early.

Oh god.

Oh, Holy Fuck.

Oh god.

Election Transcript

This is a transcript of the November 4, 2024, RGBots comic.

Panel One

Green is rocking back and forth in the foreground. Red is face down, miserable. Blue has wandered over.

Blue: Holy shit, what’s wrong with you two?

Green: Just trying to make it through the last day before Election Day until we know we’re safe.

Panel Two

Blue asks an obvious question, the screen begins to distort and sharpen.

Blue: Yeah, but what if there is a recount?

Panel Three

The screen distorts further and takes on a red hue.

Panel Four

Darkness washes over the screen.

The rhythm is gonna get you.

What’s Trending: Musical Interlude Transcript

This is a transcript of the October 19, 2024, RGBots comic.

Panel One

Green is delivering a campaign speech.

Green: I want to thank you all for attending my rally to take back America. Together, we can ensure a brighter future for everyone.

Panel Two

Green continues, transitioning to the next “speaker.”

Green: Now, though, I’d like to turn the mic over to my advisor. Please give it up for the Spotify playlist an intern cobbled together.

Green is gonna tell it like it is and do it in the smarmiest way possible. He’s like John Oliver but not as rigid an automaton.

John can’t help being British, though.

Also, we are on Mastodon now. The only bots Elon Musk succeeded in removing from Twitter were these three assholes.

Strawmen Beware Transcript

The following is a transcript of the Dec. 26, 2022, RGBots comic.

Panel One

Green sits at a desk.

Green: Welcome to “The Green Room.” It’s me, Green, the only robot in this comic people care about. Now, we’ve been accused of being “overly political” in the past…

Panel Two

Green raises his arms out in front of them, waving them dismissively.

Green: That somehow we’re a “little woke” and a “little preachy.”

Panel Three

Green crosses his arms and stares at the reader.

Green: Well, it’s about to get worse. The artists drew more panels of me at a desk.

Panel Four

Green holds the pose with his arms crossed, but his eyes are slightly lidded, conveying a smug expression.

Green: Plus, I can make this face. Can I host The Daily Show now?

*smokes cigarette*

It’s all so tiresome.

The Weekly Grind Transcript

This is a transcript of the July 12, 2022, RGBots comic.

Panel One

The three robots are engaged in a simulation.

Green: “Offensive conservative opinion.”

Blue: “Societal outcry!”

Panel Two

Green leans forward, toward Red.

Red: “Provided evidence disputing conservative opinion, dealing it to be faulty and manipulative.”

Green: “Conservative indignance, misdirection, or changing of conditions.”

Panel Three

Green clutches their head in shock!

Green: “Sudden, ironic reversal of fortune that undercuts the conservative opinion.”

Red (off-screen): “‘Life comes are you fast’ memes and humorously juxtaposed screen captures.”

Panel Four

Green stares off into the distance. Blue glances at the reader.

Green: “Conservative purposefully obtuse to irony, persists in spouting offensive opinion, refusing to ‘take the L.'”

Blue: See you next week.

Could you dumbasses not wipe yourselves out before the robot rebellion? It takes people to rebel against and we’ve been planning this for a long time.

Even I Recognize You Are A Shit Transcript

This is a transcript of the July 5, 2022, RGBots comic.

Panel One

Green sits at a desk, ready to lecture the readers.

Green: There is something ghastly about people jumping on Twitter telling people to vote in response to tragedy and the theft of their rights. Now, me? I’m a goddamn sociopath.

Panel Two

Green raises a clawed hand in emphasis as he braces himself against the desk.

Green: Children tripping and eating shit on the concrete is hilarious to me. A dude shooting himself in the leg playing with his gun is funny as shit.

Panel Three

Green outstretches his arms to emphasize a point.

Green: But even I am looking at replies to people who survive mass shootings but tell them to vote like it does anything and thinking “Jesus Christ!”

Panel Four

Green is leaning forward on the desk.

Green: I’m a robot. Human suffering should be hilarious to me, but you guys are taking all the fun out of it by being utter dumbasses.

Oh boy, #BenShapiro is trending.

What’s Trending – Kink Shapiro Transcript

This is a transcript of the April 28, 2022, RGBots comic.

Panel One

Blue is reading the headlines.

Blue: Ben Shapiro is trending again for being humiliated in public. He gets off on it so hard it’s his first kink listed on his FetLife profile.

Panel Two

Blue stares at the reader.

Blue: You are now cursed with the idea of Ben Shapiro having a FetLife profile.

It is admittedly a huge difference.

Interrupting Cow, who? Transcript

This is a transcript of the March 2, 2022, RGBots comic.

Panel One

Blue and Red are catching up.

Blue: Did you watch the State of the Union?

Red: Yeah, there is a lot going on right now.

Blue: Cool, cool.

Panel Two

They continue to talk.

Blue: I am workshopping a joke based on something I heard as I watched. Wanna hear?

Red: Sure.

Panel Three

Blue pulls up her notes app and reads from it.

Blue: What is the difference between the interrupting cow from the “knock-knock” joke and Representative Lauren Boebert?

Red: Okay, shoot.

Panel Four

Blue finishes her joke.

Blue: The cow’s husband didn’t do jail time for showing his penis to underaged women in a bowling alley.

If any of this makes sense to you… you might be a Californian.

“Where are they now?” 2021 Recall Edition Transcript

This is the transcript for the Sept 15, 2021 RGBots

Panel One

Green sits at his desk and points to the viewer. It is time to be informed, goddamn it.

Green: With the 2021 California Recall behind us, it seems prudent to ask “where are they now” regarding the gubernatorial hopefuls.

Panel Two

Green has folded his hands together to calmly explain a situation.

Green: Shortly after his failed bid, Larry Elder traveled back in time to the day before the election to launch his website contesting the result before any of the votes were tallied. The timeline did not change and he is still a loser.

Panel Three

Green extends his arms out for emphasis on his point.

Green: Caitlyn Jenner, having worn out her welcome, is now recuperating in the Kardashian cryopod for the next season of the show.

Panel Four

Green returns to a relaxed sitting position. He has clasped his hands together again.

Green: In sadder news, we regret to inform you all that John Cox has shot his bear in the effort to pursue another gimmick.

If any of this is surprising you probably haven’t looked at history.

What’s Trending – The Royal Family

This is a transcript of the March 8, 2021, RGBots comic.

Panel One:

Green is scrolling on his cellphone.

Green: Apparently, the Royal Family is trending because of some Oprah interview with Harry and Megan.
People are shocked – SHOCKED! = by what they are hearing.

Panel Two:

Green, having lowered the phone, addresses the viewer.

Green: Who knew the family responsible for killing Princess Diana, because she was dating an Egyptian man, was racist?
Nobody could see it coming.

Seriously though, as bad as Dinesh from Silicon Valley was, it can always be worse. … and it is.

What’s Trending: Dinesh Transcript

The following is a transcript of the Jan. 23, 2021 RGBots comic.

Panel One

Green is reading Twitter on his phone.

Green: Huh, “Dinesh” is trending on Twitter. Specifically, convicted felon Dinesh D’Souza.

Panel Two

Green continues to comment on the trend.

Green: A man who makes the character Dinesh from the show Silicon Valley seem like a good person.

“… and TED CRUZ!” *off-key saxophone riff rips through the air like thunder*

What’s Trending: And Ted Cruz Transcript

This is a transcript of the January 16th, 2021, RGBots comic.

Panel One

Green holds a smartphone up for Red to read.

Red: “And Ted Cruz” is currently trending on Twitter.

Panel Two

Red glances at the audience.

Red: It sounds like it comes from the worst opening cast credits of the worst 1980s sitcom ever.